Jackson

Well, one more month and I can apply for my visa for Jackson.  At long last.  It was a shit road getting there but I am finally going to Jackson....
So... since last post...I met some bloke and went out with him for a month and a half... a month and a half I will never get back... but on the upside of that I realise I am in no hurry for some bland man for the sake of being with a man.  I know it's a long shot and it may never happen but I am going to wait for someone special. And just because someone likes the Ramones or Iggy Pop doesn't mean he is the man for me... tho I do have something to be grateful for in having gone out with this guy... on my second date with him... I bumped into my brother from another mother...my dearest friend from my teenage years that I had lost contact with 24 years ago...

Instantly we recognised each other and with looks of shock and disbelief we called each others name to be sure we were seeing the right person, and not just a ghost or some look-a-like...but sure enough, it was Wolfie... and I was me...so I am delighted to be re-united with my Brother Wolf....he always cracks me up and makes me laugh.  Life takes us on strange journeys, sometimes we get lost and never find our way again and sometimes we manage to get back to where we started so we can start anew. So now I am back down the rabbit hole where I am meant to be and not trapped in suburbia under lock and key having the life screamed out of me.
And then of course, there was the 30th Year Anniversary of the Hard Ons concert at Punkfest at the Prince of Wales Hotel with Keish (original singer/drummer) on the mike and only playing requests from their early days when Keish was with them. True gold! Such an awesome night... I am one happy girl!

Then 2 months later Blackie was back in Brisbane for an unofficial Blackie in Brisbane Day.. lol... he was playing solo, playing support for King Buzzo at the Black Bear Lodge. (funnily enough the Black Bear Lodge used to be called "The Troubadour"... where I first saw the Hard Ons for the first time on the 7th of August 2010) He also played a free gig on the same day at Tym's Guitars. The day before that, I had gone to see the Nick Cave documentary, 20 000 Days On Earth, I went by myself. Dark cinema...Nick Cave...naturally I blubbed all the way through the show...not that it is sad or anything... but they played the start of the song "Higgs Boson Blues" and I just lost it...
Not sure if that just set the scene of emotion or what... but when Blackie played at Tym's Guitars, I almost blubbed through that performance as well, tho it was broad daylight so I had to tell myself to reel it in...no darkened cinema there to hide the sookie tear stained face. Probably just the beautiful heart felt music by a lovely man that is Blackie's solo work.

                                                               At Tym's Guitars

                                                              At Black Bear Lounge
Also, of late, I have been teaching myself to roller skate... I never learnt as a child, so it is going a bit slow for my liking but I am getting there... don't tend to fall over so much anymore... Wolfgang, my friend is an expert roller skater and skates everywhere... it is his main form of transport. And he brings joy to everyone who sees him. He carries a boom box with him as he rolls around town... We are both Birthday Party fans from way back but he has veered towards disco and funk in his old age, lol....(as teenagers we used to go to a night club together called Flares, where they played all '70s disco...we both dressed the part and boogied the night away.... ahh....good times)... anyway.. yes, he brings smiles and happiness to all that see him dressed in his 1970's rollerskate dude clothes and boom box on his shoulder... it is a joy to trot along beside him and see people get out their cameras and smart phones, taking photos and videos of him and smiling and shouting out to him that they love him and how he has made their day. I told him he brings joy to the streets of Brisbane and he just said..."well, that's the way I roll"  Classic!

                                                         Wolfgang and me at the Kurilpa Derby, he was on his skates, I'm not ready to hit the streets on wheels yet.

And this month I turned 44. Forty-four years on Planet Earth...(one day I shall return to Planet Purple)

My lovely daughter-in-law-to-be spoilt me with presents, I was surprised at work with a gift from a lovely work friend...and my Mum came to visit, so I had a very lovely birthday. Then the week after, I went to another work friend's 40th fancy dress party, I wore my go-go boots....I was supposed to make a shiny go-go type dress but I was not impressed with the lack of psychedelic purple material, My heart wasn't in the sewing of the intended dress, so I ended up just wearing a dress I had hanging in my closet... I did have a bee hive and false eye lashes, not that you can notice them much in the photo...

 and that brings me up to date with my life as I know it...next up is seeing the Hard Ons at The Blurst Of Times Festival... again, I will be going alone...my sister is no longer able to join me on my "girls music nights out"  I can understand, I knew it would all come to an end when she married her lovely new husband ..... so it's either go alone or lay back down in the living coffin I lay down in years ago when I married a man I had nothing in common with... a coffin I fought tooth and nail to get out of...
anyway.. I look forward to going to see the Hard Ons... they have a new album coming out, so I assume we will be blessed with some new songs on the play list ... very exciting! (I hope my CD that I ordered comes before then!!) Cheers and rock on!  :)

The New Adventures of Old Chrystina

I am determined to do things differently this time 'round... I am determined to try new things.
Being a creature of habit, I'm not sure how well this will go but one can only try.
Two bad things have happened since my last post. My beautiful, loving and lovable Aunty passed away. She had emphysema and had battled it for 20 years... she got ill and it finished off her lungs. She went so quick it was a terrible shock and a terrible loss for our family as she was central to all our lives on my Mum's side of the family. When I went up to the hospital to see her, she held my hand so tight and told me she loved me. I know she loved me. It is a comfort but it is still hard to believe she is gone. When I went to see her, I did my usual and tried to cheer everyone up and make everyone laugh and feel happy and positive. I refused to believe she was in any real danger. I told her I had a date that night. She was happy for me. I never did go on that date. I was too drained from the hospital visit. Stupidly, I went on a date the day after her funeral. I thought if I just had something nice to look forward to, it would ease the pain of losing her, but I am really not ready for dating. Not that I have remaining feelings or issues with the ended marriage, I'm so over that... and I had been lonely in the marriage for decades... but I need to be by myself for awhile, to know how to assert myself and just be myself. For so many years I was way too submissive for the sake of a peaceful life and I don't want to retain the habit of deferring to some man. My sister happily met her new husband via internet dating and encouraged me to give it a try, making out it was all butterflies and rainbows. But I take a long time to relax and feel at ease enough to be myself around anyone... and especially around men. I turn into a zombie, my mind goes blank and I can barely make a peep. I know this about myself, so I have no idea what I was thinking when I went on this date. Oh well, it won't be happening again. If ever I am to meet anyone, it will have to be the old fashioned way. It needs to be someone I have known for some small amount of time at least. Good luck with that!  *sigh*  So that's the end to the New Adventures of Old Chrystina....romantically anyway...
Anyway... since the last post my sis and I have seen Nunchukka Superfly at the Prince of Wales Punkfest in January and then this Easter Saturday we saw Hard-Ons at Tym's Guitars for the re-issue of their classic 7" "Girl in the Sweater" that Tym's Guitars released especially for Record Store Day.

Such a great night and fun atmosphere. It is a bit of a lead up to the Hard-Ons 30th year anniversary tour with original drummer/lead singer Keish coming up in June this year!! I've already bought tickets...I'd just wanna slit my throat if I missed out on this... (I was already bummed out by missing out on tickets to see The Stems at the Tivoli last month!) If you are in Australia and wanna go see this legendary Aussie band and have a hankering to hear a particular song of old ... just go to the Hard-Ons forums here and leave a song request. I really can't wait!! It is Very Exciting!! Another awesome thing to look forward to, is next month, Nunchukka Superfly are returning to Punkfest again! Twice in one year... blessed!
In other news, my neighbour and I, with her son and my youngest daughter, went away for the week end to Twin Waters. We had such a wonderful time, lots of swimming, sailing, kayaking, eating and laughing. I especially enjoyed doing laps of the lake, so relaxing.

I also loved the kayaking so much, that when I came home and saw a coupon deal in my inbox for kayaking down the Brisbane River, I bought it... so sometime soon I will be paddling down the Brisbane River on twilight with a group of people. I have since been told the Brisbane River is teeming with bull sharks... oh happy day! But I am not deterred... I am looking forward to doing something different to my usual activities. I think it will be fun. Another fun thing I did recently was go to a Vegan Festival.  

It was at a nightclub.. unbeknowns to me... I assumed it would be a cafe type setting. I took my 73 year old Mother... when we got there and I saw that it was a nightclub and that it was nestled between two gentlemen's clubs, I knew I was going to hell.... but Mum took it in her stride and enjoyed the night with me anyway... tho I did get a few harsh words later on, lol....

Here's my Mum, in a nightclub...

and Mum watching the Vegan Black Metal Chef... it was a really good night actually and really inspired me to at least ditch the dairy. I got Isa Chandra Moskawitz's recipe book "Isa Does It" (I ordered it through work, we had to fly like the clock struck midnight after the show) she is so funny and talented, I really liked her, but they were all inspiring and great to hear each of their vegan stories.

Isa's book is a great cookbook, so glad I got it and I was desperate to try the recipe she demonstrated on the night... a vegan mac and cheese.... and it is SOOO yummy...very "creamy".... the kids loved it, which is what I was hoping for... can't wait to try out more of these recipes on them!

And that's my life up till now... hoping it gets better and better xx

Free

Well, life has changed a great deal since I last blogged.
Change is always scary but sometimes it is essential. Can't say too much... for legal reasons... but I am now free from the shackles of a rotting, suffocating, volatile marriage.
...and to pick up from where I left off from my last post...
went to see The Ape a few days before my birthday... they were awesome... Picked up their debut album... love it. Their songs are exciting and my sis and I loved every minute, a great night out.  (all my photos are blurry and crappy, so can not share :( )
Much like my life for the last couple of months... after my birthday, things deteriorated to close on unlivable... for all concerned...
For the past three and a half years, I guess you can say I was having a typical mid life crisis... where you question every decision you ever made and try to analyse what the hell lead you to the path you are on...
I had been miserable for years....the marriage should have ended and had a natural ending soon after our eldest child was born... but I was raised to believe that marriage is forever and I had to do what I had to do, for the sake of my son to make things work....My Mothers voice echoed in my head.... "you made your bed, now you have to lie in it"  .... if I dared tell her then what I was putting up with, she would have said otherwise, I am sure. But I felt brainwashed into believing that I was to blame, and ashamed of having a failed marriage, I hid my problems and just tried to be a better wife, thinking that if I changed my behavior and went out of my way to make him happy that he would be a better husband.... it took me close to 20 years to realise that nothing would make him happy and nothing would make him change..  he is what he is and he is not for me, and I am not the right person for him either. Enough said...it's over...we made 4 beautiful children together, no regrets.... but it is time to move on.
And I have every intention of doing just that and being happy and being me, pure and simple....
So now it is 2014... I am certain it will be a good year...
Bring it on!