Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Goodbye Summer

Goodbye to Summer, much as it was... here in Queensland we have had more rain than we need. We personally  haven't had any damage, other than loss of power, so nothing to complain about really, other than the inconvenience of damp clothes hanging around the house, mud tracked floors from outdoors and depressed and stir crazed feelings from being cooped up indoors for weeks on end. Other significant news is...I have been recovering from an operation. An operation that I decided that I needed, wanted and was determined to have.... After 2 years of constant hard slog and exercise to lose the 40 kilos I had gained 10 years ago, I felt I needed, wanted and was determined to have a tummy tuck. Maybe this is pure vanity, maybe it is some childish attempt to reclaim my lost youth but frankly I don't care and I am good with it.... I was tormented by my reflection in the mirror. After working so hard to lose the weight, it upset me that my tummy didn't look as good as I felt I did on the inside. No amount of sit ups, incline bench ab crunches, planks and side planks were going to reduce the excess skin that I had around my tummy. It cost alot of money, money that should have gone to more important things but I also felt like I really deserved it too. The husband could waste money on his own selfish, childish whims, so why couldn't I? When I first decided that I was wanted to lose weight, I felt I had to look deep inside myself and figure out why I had put the weight on to begin with. Chubbiness is one thing, but obesity is another. I was obese, lets just get that straight. I began thinking about the necessity of losing weight. I didn't want to face up to it but I realised I was not just simply chubby. I was obese. Obviously there are health issues that go along with that. I didn't have any health issues at that time but I knew if I let myself be that big for any longer that they would eventually arise. Type 2 diabetes for one. Back problems, cholesterol, blood pressure, heart problems. I didn't want any of them. Plus I also knew I needed to get back into the work force and I knew it would be easier if I was slim. I also knew that fat people were depressed people. I had to explore why I was depressed... why was I willing to punish myself with food. Food is the fat persons source of comfort, sometimes the only source of comfort. I looked at this and wondered why I relied on Tim Tams and ice-cream to cheer me up. My husband never called me fat. Never comlained about my weight, so I never thought of it as an issue. But I was unhappy about being overweight. If I was going to lose weight, I had to do it for myself. Then something happened to open my eyes as to why I had allowed myself to gain weight. My husband is an intensely jealous man. When he was a teenager, his first girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend. That little girl's mistake, made many years before I met him, affected the way my husband treated me. I learnt very early not to talk to other men, no matter how innocent it may have been. He would never be violent in word or action to another man but I would cop a verbal bashing if some poor bloke accidentally happened to look in my direction. This did not affect my weight directly but when I had half my thyroid taken out due to a tumor, the weight crept on and, probably only subconciously, I felt it made my life easier in that regard. I truely don't think men looked at me, it was just his imagination, but the fatter I got, the less I got in trouble for men apparently looking at me. Then, when I felt that that was no longer a problem, he had another hissy fit. Ridiculas, I told him. I'm 97 kilos, there is no way anyone would be looking at me! But he went on and on. It was then and there that I realised I was only allowing myself to be fat to make my life with him easier and it was now no longer working, so I aught to lose weight to make myself happy and be done with it. I am not responsible for the way he thinks. I am a good person, I have never cheated and have never given him reason to think that I would. I will not remain overweight so as to keep his insecurities at bay any longer. And so the hard work of losing all that weight started. I started small, and slowly increased my excersise over time and the weight came off. Not all of it, I am a big sookie girl and still think my legs are fat, but whatcha gonna do? So anyway.... I've had a tummy tuck. I am at week 8 and I feel wonderful and don't regret it for a second and am so happy and grateful that I was able to afford it. The husband sold his first motorbike after he got his Harley and I demanded the money he got for it for my tummy tuck. I get my way sometimes, lol. I have only recently returned to riding my bicycle to work and other than that and walking, I haven't returned to my beloved running or gym as yet, but I am determined to get back to that level of fitness, coz I get off on that adreneline buzz and recognise that excersise is the best depression buster there is..... it ain't just the rain that has made me a sookie blubber guts lately, it's the lack of hard core excersise. I miss it! All in good time.... So in the last 8 weeks post op. I have been trying to keep myself amused. The first 2 weeks I was off work. The doctor said I aught to have 3 weeks off, but I couldn't ask my boss for that long off. Not to mention we couldn't afford for me to have that long off anyway. In that time I read. Lots of reading. I read "Les Miserables"  I read "And the Ass Saw The Angel" by Nick Cave. Well, I had started that before the operation, but I had lay that aside so I could read "Les Miserables" before I went to see the movie. Then, as those 2 books were depressing, I felt I needed something light and fun, so I read Gretel Killeen's book "Visible Panty Line" ... very much like stand up comedy in book form. Then I read "Gridlocked" by Ben Elton. Extremely funny, tho also an intelligent read plus the hero dies, so now I am reading "Babylon's Burning: From Punk to Grunge" by Clinton Heylin. I also started reading this ages ago but had a hard time getting into it as I am not so fussed on his style of writing but I hate starting a book and not finishing it, plus the genre interests me, of course.
On the 8th of this month, my sister and I went to see Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds at the Brisbane Riverstage in the Botanical Gardens. (Same place we saw Blondie) I had sewn myself a lovely purple halter neck dress. Tho I was worried that it was a pointless waste of time, as it had been raining quite heavily for days leading up to the concert and assumed I would have to go sporting a purple long raincoat over the top of it but happily, the rain decided to take a hike for the night and we were not harrassed by it's constantant wetness for the evening. A truly wonderful night. Everything you would expect and more. Queensland Symphony Orchestra and a childrens choir from Annerley State School were also included, adding their talent to a stage full of it. Last time I saw Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds was 19th July 1990. I even have a set list from that time.... From Her To Eternity,The Mercy Seat, The Witness Song, I'm Gonna Kill That Woman, The Weeping Song, Foi Na Cruz, City Of Refuge, Deanna, The Carny, The Ship Song, The Good Son, The Carnival Is Over, Black Betty, Tupelo, Cindy, Long Time Man, Knocking On Joe,  All Tomorrow's Parties, Shivers, Lament, Streets Of Laredo      (I got this set list from this website... )
and they are right...Nick did call the song Shivers "juvenile" ..... obvioulsy at that time, Shivers was an old song for Nick... and not even a "Bad Seeds" song.... but it was still fresh in everyone's mind due to the movie "Dog's In Space" and the audience was shouting out and requesting "Shivers"  and Nick said.... "that song is a little juvenile, isn't it?"  (I did not call out to request it.... just sayin'..... I never call out asking for songs at gigs.... the band will play what they wish to play and I am content with that.... I will call out for an encore tho of course.... the only time I called out for a song to be sung at a gig was at my first Rat Cat gig... I asked for their song "Car Crash" to be played, but they did not play it.... lol... that was their first song I heard of theirs via Rage.... ) anyway... back to Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds...I was supposed to see Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds at the Livid Festival on the 12th of December 1992.... but this was actually the first time I took my husband to a music concert when we were first going out.... I have mentioned it on this blog before. I had nervously got myself drunk, as I was concerned with seeing an old flame whilst with the husband... (he was only my boyfriend at the time) and he had insisted on taking me home before Nick came on, so I missed out that night. But I am very happy I saw them this time round. A wonderful night.

Opening with a collection of songs from the new album "Push The Sky Away" During "Wide Lovely Eyes" I so wanted to wave my arms in the air....it's unlike me not to... my only regret... 

Nick seated for a bit during "The Ship Song"  Beautiful.

Support act, Mark Lanegan, came on towards the end of the show to sing the 'father' role in the very beautiful "The Weeping Song"......amazing!

A truely wonderful night. I so enjoyed every minute.
Next wonderful thing to look forward to, in 2 tiny weeks time..... My sister and I are going to Bluesfest!! I could only afford to pay for one day... and of course that day is Saturday when the wonderful Iggy and The Stooges are playing. And as brilliant luck would have it.... Beasts of Bourbon are playing that day also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the name sake of this blog!!!) ..... (Beasts of Bourbon's song 'I'm A Drop Out' has the line....."Purple is my colour" in it.....god, if they play that song.... guess who will be screaming that line out????? LOL!! (somebody stop me!...channelling Jim Carey from The Mask!)  The sad thing is, the wonderful Wanda Jackson is playing at Bluesfest on the Thusday and Friday, so I will miss her there. Originally, she was to do a gig in Brisbane before Bluesfest and I was going to catch her there, but that gig has been cancelled. So devastated about that!! I would dearly have loved to see her :(    
Last week end I finally bought us a tent to sleep in on the Saturday night. My sister would have rathered we book a motel room somewhere but I would have none of that. I want the whole music festival experience. As my sister nor I have ever gone camping before (save school camps, a million years ago) I decided I needed to do a trial "tent erectus" to see if it is within my big girlie abilities. Happily.... I am capable of erecting a tent....and disassembling one. I was so proud of myself, I felt like Bear Grylls! Not so good at getting the rotten thing neatly back into it's carry bag, however. But we won't let that dampen our camping/music festivities. One of the guys that sold us the tent goes to Bluesfest every year, it was good to talk to him about what to expect... lots of good food on sale apparently, so no need to pack any... sniffer dogs... so no naughty treats stuffed down side pockets of hand bags..... by this I mean Easter eggs of course, lol! Yes, sadly, it falls on the Easter week end. No matter, I have decided that the family will have our Easter feast on Good Friday and the "Easter Bunny" will come on Friday night, so Mummy can see the kids faces before she choofs off and leaves them sugar rushing with their Father, lol....really all but the youngest is too old for "the Easter Bunny" and she is getting a little too old for it too, but it is hard to let go of these traditions. I will be more worried about the Easter traffic. Must burn a CD with good driving music for the road.... otherwise, God love her, my sister will make me listen to her Punjabi music all the way there. She is getting married in April to a lovely guy. I can't imagine going back for a second go, but each to their own. I wish her all the best and this will be a good week end to get away, just us two girls, being girlie and having fun. She has been to Byron Bay a few times, so is eager to show me the sights on Sunday after we leave the festival. I've got my bikini packed already.... she wants to take me swimming, just hope it isn't in shark infested waters! Hoping to do a spot of shopping too. I'm sure there are all kinds of purple things I might expect to find available to buy. Now I just need to find a suitable dress to wear. Yes, I have to wear a dress...my sister points out that a dress is not music festival attire, but too bad. I can't wear jeans at the moment due to my tummy being still a little tender, so a dress it shall be. Suppose I aught to hurry up, time is running out. So excited about this. I love having something to look forward to!